


The Tragic Melancholy of Rin and Eren's Forbidden Gay Love

by Anonymous



Series: Bad Bang III: The Series [5]
Category: Free!, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Cows, Crying, Deliberate Badfic, Dick Booping, Haru Sucks, Hurt/Comfort, Levi Is Abusive, Levi learns a lesson, M/M, Mikasa Bashing, Nonnies Made Me Do It, Poor Angsty Rin, Soulbonding Through Anal Sex, Swimming, Threesomes, Unrequited Love, Wangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3250802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rin swims to an island of giant naked robot things, what will happen when he meets a cute boy in a tragically abusive relationship???? R/R PLZ!!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tragic Melancholy of Rin and Eren's Forbidden Gay Love

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Attack of the Giant Monster Spiders!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3148877) by [Dracothelizard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracothelizard/pseuds/Dracothelizard). 



> I wrote this in response to some icky HaruMako fanart that took Mako away from Rin! It was so sad! *crys* ;_; Rin deserves Mako so much more than that asshole Haru!!! And he would be so sad if Haru took Mako away and I was gonna have him drown but then I decided to get him with Eren because Eren also needs better love than that bitch Mikasa or that evil jerk Levi who abuses him! GRRRRRR!!!! NO FLAMES PLZ!!!!!!

A beautiful boy swam sorrowfully along the coast. He was sad because there was someone he loved and longed to boop dicks with. It didn't even have to be sexual, just a quick boop followed by nine hours of cuddling. But alas, the one he loved would never realize this because he couldn't read minds and the lonely boy had never said anything.

He reached an island where he was shocked to find giant robots chasing and eating people, which was horrifying and made a tear run down the poor boy's soft gay cheek.

"Oh, no," he wept, "why are naked robots doing such things? My delicate heart cannot take this!"

"Do not despair! I, Eren Yaeger, will-AAAAAAAH NO STOP STICKING THAT SWORD UP MY ASS LEVI IT REALLY HURTS!" a guy cried. Eren was in a problematic abusive relationship with his clean-freak superior and for some reason Rin who was very sensitive needed to save him.

"Wait, why were you just talking like a knight?" Rin asked. Except no one heard.

"ERENNNNNN! I will save you because I must protect you from everyone!" yelled the bitch Mikasa, who then got eaten because she's a girl and no one likes icky girls. Except Ymir and Historia who were inexplicably making out in a corner. There, now you HAVE to give me brownie points for adding girls and lesbians! Now back to the yaoi, the real reason you people are here.

"Eren! You are mine!" Levi said evilly as he kept fucking the boy. Rin got angry and suddenly a giant cow appeared to beat up Levi, who was defeated by the power of cow. Eren fainted and Rin went to pick him up and rescue him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Eren came to he was being held in the arms of a muscular swimmer.

"Wow, who are you? Your wet body makes me feel safe!"

"I'm Rin Matsuoka," the sexy boy said. "You're safe with me now, your evil abusive old boyfriend disappeared. And you must be Eren."

"Yeah. Sorry I fainted like a wuss, I was just so traumatized because Titans attacked and ate a bunch of people...including my best friend." He shed a single sparkly tear over the death of poor Armin, who was inexplicably eaten by one. He supposed he also felt bad about whatshername but she was a bitch anyway. But Armin was so sweet and pure and wonderful.

Rin gently mopped the shiny tear from the boy's eye.

"Don't cry. His memory lives on in your heart," he said.

"Wow, I feel better now!" Eren smiled. "Hey, why are you wet?"

"I was swimming...and sad. Because there's someone I love who I want to be with, but...he doesn't want me. He has feelings for someone else," Rin sighed. Stupid Haruka Nanase had taken Makoto Tachibana's love away from him, which was why Rin was angstily swimming. "I...I only wanted to hold and caress him and boop dicks with him!"

"I'm so sorry," Eren said tenderly. They looked into each other's eyes and for a moment it was like mutual hurt/comfort. Then Eren smiled.

"Can we go swimming together?"

So they did, in their underwear, admiring each other's hard sexy bodies the whole time. Eren became blushy and flustered about it, because he's inexperienced, but they were both muscular from their lifestyles so if buttsex happened one wouldn't squish the other.

Buttsex did happen, by the way. With lube and condoms because you must always practice safe sex, always lubricate and wear condom when you do it or else someone is going to get knocked up. And a disease. Or...knocked up with a disease. Yes, mpreg is a disease.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over time Rin and Eren began to fall in love with each other but were too scared to confess. One night, Eren came to Rin in tears.

"Rin...I have a secret to confess to you."

"What is it?" Rin swept the muscular boy into his arms.

"I...I love you!" Eren wept.

"Oh, Eren! I love you, too! I knew it from the moment my dick went inside your butt!" Rin gushed. "Eren...will you boop dicks with me?"

"Yes, Rin, yes..."

They took out their dicks and gently touched them together. Boop.

It was very romantic.

Unfortunately the sweet moment was soon ruined by a half-Titan Levi coming in and taking Eren away! The horror!

"ERENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Rin cried as he chased after Levi.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! He is mine now to abuse and rape and be mean to forever!" Levi cackled.

"Rin, help me!" Eren cried.

"I'll save you!" Rin tried to fight but was sadly not a fighter as much as he was a swimmer. So the fight would've been more in his favor if they were in the water. But they weren't so it was all bad and stuff and Rin got hurt and Eren cried.

Suddenly, the giant cow came back and used its cow power to make Levi human again. Levi was also cured of being an abusive fucker and apologized and Eren forgave him.

"We should have a threesome!" Rin said happily. The guys agreed and made passionate love on the beach until Titans ran over and ate them all for a midnight snack.

In the background, the still-alive Marco Bott shed a single tear.


End file.
